The changes in your image (loss of the hair, increase of weight, scars, aftermath of the surgery…) Given the value that we attribute in our society to the external image, you can feel to grief with your new image and less attractive.
Also, during the treatment period it is possible that in any moments you are not to 100 % of your possibilities and could not develop all your responsibilities at home or in the work.
Any patients after the diagnosis and treatments can no have children or it is not advisable that do it.
The presence of some of these unwanted consequences can do that you feel less valuable, less useful or less attractive. This generates insecurity feelings and can provoke isolation, reduce the social relations, alienation of the couple and of the others, and in general, can limit your daily activity.
If this is your case, he thinks that it is normal, it is something that happens to many persons in the same situation. But do not forget that the self-esteem is anything that we can work and “reconstruct”. Wonder:
On what do I base to think that “I do not serve for anything”?
In what do I keep on being useful for my family (or in my work, in my house, for my friends …)?
How can you compensate the possible limitations?
Is it necessary to keep on doing everything what it was doing till now?
Can I prioritize any tasks or responsibilities opposite to others?
What merit is had by the effort that I realize to overcome the illness?
What motives do I have to feel proud of myself?
Am I much harder or demanding with me myself as with the others?
Is he worth thinking only about the limitations or losses or is it more useful to look for the way of solving or of compensating possible something like that?
IMPROVING MY SELF-ESTEEM
We indicate you some suggestions to improve your self-esteem:
It diminishes your demand level with you. Although you have already finished the treatments, your body has changed and he must have time so that it recovers.
Although it is possible that there are some things that you could not do as earlier, he thinks about everything what you can still do.
It takes an active role in your illness, do do things that you can keep on doing.
He reflects about everything what could have brought you at human level this hard experience, if perhaps it has strengthened you and has helped you to improve.
He thinks about small things that you can be doing already, although you are still in treatment, to feel useful. For example, the children sometimes need that attention is paid to them, one asks them and listen, and this does not need to be to 100 % physically.
He thinks about everything what you can do to improve your image, you will feel more nice and surer.
He remembers that you are much more than a physical image, an arm or the breast. Although your image is part of you, you are much more.
He remembers all the effort that you have done till now. Many patients turn into an example for the others.